【TOEIC Writing】Q6-7 メール問題 ブラッシュアップ＜ワールドトーク Kohay先生⑦＞

▼この記事の動画版もあるので、もし良かったら流し聞きでどうぞ！▼

2022年５月５日（木） 22:00～23:00
「ワールドトーク」 kohay先生（第10回）

１．メールの添削

情報掲示×３の前に、この先のメールに、何を書くかっていう
ざっくりとした情報を入れてあげるとメールが読みやすくなる。
　
（例）I have reserved a restaurant called ABC Restaurant
and I have three things I have to tell you.

¹問題

Q:Could you find a restaurant and make a reservation for my meeting?
(3 pieces of information)

メール問題 各記載のポイント

メール例	ポイント
Dear Ms. Sorano,	宛先不明の場合は To whom it may concern,
Thank you very much for your email dated May 1.	テンプレで入れてよい
I have reserved a restaurant called ABC Restaurant and I have three things I have to tell you.	この先のメールに何を書くかの概要情報 I have been looking through your website, but I’m not sure about something, so can I ask two questions?
First of all, the meeting in the restaurant will start at 6:00 p.m.	TPR法 ①時間（Time）
Also, you are going there from our work place, but it is a little far away.  Therefore, I will drive you this time. Could you inform your clients of the place?	②場所（Place）
Finally, the service charge is a slightly higher. Please understand it beforehand.	③規則（Regulation）
Should you have any other questions, please let me know anytime.	・他のパターン I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.  I look forward to meeting you.
Best regards,	超丁寧な時は Sincerely,
Eru	100語前後がベスト

Kohay先生 修正後のメール

Dear Ms. Sorano,

Thank you very much for your e-mail dated May 1.

I have reserved a restaurant called ABC Restaurant and I have three things I have to tell you.

First of all, the meeting in the restaurant will start at 6:00 p.m.
Also, you are going there from our work place, but it is a little far away. Therefore, I will drive you this time. Could you inform your clients of the place?
Finally, the service charge is a slightly higher. Please understand it beforehand.

I look forward to meeting you. 

Best regards,

Eru
(96words)

修正前のメール

Dear Ms. Sorano,

Thank you very much for your e-mail dated May 1.

First of all, It was challenging to get a restaurant reservation, and it starts at 6:00 p.m.
Also, I recommend this restaurant, but it is a little far away. Therefore, I will drive you this time. Please inform your clients.
Finally, the service charge is a little higher. Please understand beforehand.

I look forward to meeting you. 

Best regards,

Eru
(73words)

Q1. ネットではI look forward to…の方が丁寧とあるけど？

TOEICのReadingでも何度か見てるのでそうかもしれない。

Q2. 冒頭に入れるまとめの１文のコツは？

A. 形式毎にテンプレを用意しておくとよい

例えば、
①質問
ちょっと調べてみたのですが、分からないことがあるので、
２つ質問してもよろしいでしょうか
I have been looking through your website,
but I’m not sure about something,
so can I ask two questions?

②提案
あなたの計画を見せて頂いて、すごくいいなと思ったんですけど
私の方から２つ提案させていただいてもよろしいでしょうか
I have confirmed your plan,
and it is excellent,
so may I make two suggestions?

Q3. 最後に I’m looking forward to（hearing from you. , next meeting. 等）をテンプレで入れてるが、不自然ではないか？

A. 不自然ではないが、もっとバリエーションはある。

Should you have any questions, don’t hesitate to let me know.
Should you have any questions, please let me know anytime.

何かご質問あれば全然遠慮なく教えてくださいね